Parent-Teacher Relations

I have always dreaded the mystical "parent-teacher" conference. To begin....strangers make me nervous. Parents, by nature, are the most lethal form of stranger. They, by nature, have the best interest of their children at heart, and this passion can manifest itself in a multitude of ways. Hopefully, your parents will come to conferences with an open mind - willing to listen to your opinions without becoming defensive - and able to offer suggestions as to how to support their children in becoming more successful. But behaviors tend to oppose the ideal in varying degrees, including complete denial of problem behaviors or total exasperation on their own part, each of which can result in less than productive conferences.

So far - I've found the following helpful:

• Bring an agenda to the conference. Having even a basic outline will allow you to get back on track, even if the conference gets a little....emotional. (The presence of an outline also helps to eliminate the chance of you getting emotional, which will help keep the parent calm as well)
• Keep minutes. Give the parent a copy. Have a copy for yourself. These can be quite helpful for administrators if discipline issues happen to snowball in the future.
• Whenever possible, meet as a team. "Mr. So and So just doesn't like me" won't carry quite the same weight when parents hear that the same kinds of problems are recurring in several classes.
• Bring the student's progress report.
• Listen to what parents have to say. No matter how you feel about them, they have known your student for far longer than you have. Their comments maybe insightful in several ways. And finally,
• Find something positive to say. Don't set yourself up in the parent's eyes as the enemy of his or her child. Dig deep. "Johnny" has done something praiseworthy. Find it.